


You're an Angel

by Sundae_Driver



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, Child Neglect, Choking, Clothed Sex, Clowns, Coming In Pants, Coming Untouched, Crying, Dirty Thoughts, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loss of Virginity, Making Love, Making Out, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Oral Sex, PBA, Past Child Abuse, Pseudobulbar affect, Rating Change, Reader-Insert, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Thunderstorms, takes place after the car crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 16:09:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21139451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundae_Driver/pseuds/Sundae_Driver
Summary: Gotham is in chaos after the Joker shot Murray on live television, but you have to make it back to your apartment. The last thing you expected was to be pulled into an alleyway by the Joker himself, begging you for help. Despite knowing it was a bad idea, you bring him to your home to nurse him back to health. You learn who Arthur is and why he killed all of those people, You also learn how sweet and kind he could be. You don't want to fall for the man, but by the time he stepped foot into your home, it was too late.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: I have no knowledge of the DC universe. I've never been a "Hero" kind of person, but my husband really wanted to see Joker. Little did I know id fall into Hyper fixation hell (heaven?) and not be able to think of anything other than Arthur Fleck. So im sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the DCU, please be kind and ignore it! Thanks!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)

It was chaos in the streets, but you had no other choice but to brave the madness and work your way back to your apartment. People were running around, some holding weapons while others simply used their voice. You had already heard what happened on live television and your heart raced. Was this really what Gotham had turned into?

The last thing you had expected on your walk home was for a tall, slender man to pull you into an ally way to beg you for help.

"I need to get out of here," the man panted, hands clutching the material of your shirt, "please, I'm injured."

You knew right away who this man was, and fear chilled every bone in your body. His clown painted face and blood-soaked clothes were enough to confirm this was indeed the Joker. He was very injured, and the med student in you kicked into action.

"Fine, follow me," your voice was stern and to the point as you rushed in the direction of your apartment building. "I need you to put this on and tuck your hair into it," you said, handing Joker your winter beanie.

Hastily and with shaking hands, the Joker shoved his long unnatural green hair into the hat and rushed after you. As long as the cops were overwhelmed with the riots, they shouldn't pay attention to one more weirdo in clown makeup. A small part of your brain scolded you for offering a killer help, but It wasn't like you disagreed with the guy.

You used to be a medical student. Top of your class, but then the scholarship lost funding, and it was either drop out or be millions of dollars in debt. You chose the first option. Your dream was to become a doctor, but you had to settle with being a barista for the local grubby coffee shop. It wasn't glorious or fulfilling, but it paid the bills and kept you fed. That's all you could ask from this piece of shit city.

You finally reached your apartment building, and for the first time since he grabbed you, you looked back to see if he was following. And sure enough, he was close behind, limping, but keeping up. You opened the door for him and pointed to the elevators.

"Don't rush, you'll look more suspicious," you warned when you saw his wide eyes and shaking hands. "it'll be okay, I'm right behind you," you said as he nodded and walked carefully to the elevator. You hopped in beside him and pressed the fifth-floor button. The doors shut, and you looked at your unwanted partner. This was the man who killed 3 people weeks ago and just shot a tv personality on live television. Yet he didn't look like he could harm a fly.

Pain clearly lined his face, and your heart squeezed. You never did well with seeing others in pain. Ironic for a med student, but that's what compelled you to fix the problems. You wanted to heal people. To stop the pain. You wanted to end this man's pain, and that scared the hell out of you.

The elevator dinged, and you jumped. When you focused on Joker, you noticed he was looking at you with a cocked head. A chill ran through you, and you weren't sure if it was from fear or something far more sinister. You didn't want to think of it, so instead, you rushed out of the elevator and headed straight to your door.

Apartment E24. It wasn't much, but it was home. You pushed the now unlocked door open and threw your backpack into the corner. You rushed to your medicine cabinet and pulled out your first aid kit, your suture kit, and a few stolen goods from the hospital. You hurried back into the main room to see the man awkwardly looking around.

"You can sit on the couch," you said, pointing your hand in the general direction of the couch, "oh, but maybe you should take your shirt off? I need to see if you have any major injuries to your torso." You were going into autopilot as the routine of checking wounds swept over you. You observed as the man carefully undid the buttons of his vest and his stained white shirt.

When the clothes fell onto the couch next to him, your breath caught. The man was incredibly underweight, ribs, and backbone clearly visible. Along with the thin frame, there were cuts and bruises all over his pale skin. You didn't want to use the suture kit, but a few cuts looked particularly ugly.

"I'm going to have to touch you, is that okay," you said as you pulled on rubber gloves. The Joker nodded, still silent since you agreed to help him. You kneeled in front of him and began your evaluation. A large gash marred his face, but some Butterfly tape should do the trick. You put some alcohol onto a cotton ball and dabbed it gently. The man visibly clenched and your heart once again squeezed.

"I know it stings, but it'll feel better once they are all cleaned," you looked into his eyes as you spoke and hoped he could feel your sincerity. While you cleaned the cuts and scrapes on his face, you also removed what was left of his makeup. The face underneath was lined and sunken in, but it was also heart clenching in its sadness. You continued to work your way through the injuries, and much to your relief, none demanded stitches. You'll have to look back on two deep gashes in a few days to make sure the butterfly tape was enough.

"The good news is you don't have a concussion and none of your injuries require any serious medical attention," he watched you intently as you spoke, almost following every movement of your lips, "the bad news is you have two cracked ribs and a few gashes I'm worried about. They'll be painful to heal, and I need to keep an eye on them."

"Do you know who I am," his voice was gravelly and horse.

"Yes," you held your breath as he began to laugh suddenly. You were taken aback as the man wheezed and clutched at his sides. "you're going to have to cut that out if you want your ribs to heal correctly," you warned, but he didn't stop. Instead, he fumbled around in the pile of clothes to his right and practically threw a business card at you.

_Please excuse my laughter, I have a condition, and my laughing doesn't reflect how I'm feeling._

Oh. You've heard of this syndrome before. What was it called again? Pseudobulbar affect, or more commonly known as PBA. The man began to groan between bouts of laughter. Blood seeping out of his mouth.

"look at me," you placed both hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at you, "breathe with me, okay? 1,2,3 in. Okay, now hold it. 1,2,3 out." You continued to do breathing exercises with him until the laughter slowed and eventually stopped.

You were about to remove your hands when panic ran through his face, and his slim hands clutched at your wrists. "just a moment more, please," his voice was desperate, and your soft heart let him have another few moments.

This time when your hands slipped from his face, he didn't stop you. Instead, he sighed and gave you a small smile. "so what do I call you," you asked as you cleaned up the mess around you.

"My name is Arthur," his voice was soft, almost childlike, "Arthur Fleck."

"Well, Arthur, it looks like you're stuck with me until those fully heal," you said, pulling the rubber gloves off your hands.

"What do I call you," he asked as you walked away.

"You can call me Jon, for now, you okay sleeping on the couch," he nodded, and you flicked your wrist as a goodbye before collapsing onto your bed.

What a night. You worked a double shift then brought a crazy serial killing clown home. A killer clown who is now curled up on your couch while you try to sleep soundly in the other room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I have no knowledge of the DC universe. I've never been a "Hero" kind of person, but my husband really wanted to see Joker. Little did I know id fall into Hyper fixation hell (heaven?) and not be able to think of anything other than Arthur Fleck. So im sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the DCU, please be kind and ignore it! Thanks!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)

You woke up and half expected Arthur to be gone, but instead, he was sitting on the same couch you left him. He looked haggard and deep in thought. You stepped passed him to start your morning pot of coffee, and it didn't escape your attention when his head turned to follow you. You ignored Arthur for the time being and went to place four pieces of bread in the toaster.

"Goodmorning, Do you want some coffee," You tried to keep your voice casual despite the cold twist of fear in your belly. When you didn't get a response, you turned to look at him. You yelped in surprise when you came face to bare chest with Arthur. You hadn't heard him come up behind you.

"Arent you afraid of me," Arthur asked, not moving back an inch, "You said last night you knew who I was, yet you still brought me to your home?" You scoffed because he was right. You shouldn't have taken that chance and brought him home. Heck, you should have called Arkem police the moment you laid eyes on him.

You looked him in the eye and said, "Yes, I am afraid of you, but if you were going to hurt me, you would have already." You weren't positive that those words were true, but you had to believe he wouldn't harm you. It was necessary to continue to nurse this man back to health.

He looked down at you curiously before nodding and stepping back. "You know, I only hurt people who hurt me first," He confessed as he walked back to the couch. In the world we lived in now, you didn't blame him.

The coffee finished brewing, and the toaster dinged. Despite Arthur not agreeing to the coffee or food, you still poured him a cup and coated the toast in some butter. You set the plate and mug on the kitchen table and nodded your head to the empty chair. You watched him get up and quietly walk to the table to take the seat across from you.

“So I’m no psychiatrist, but I’m going to have to know more about what goes on in your mind to trust you," you said around a bite of toast before sipping your black coffee.

“And what if I need to trust you as well,” he countered and took a sip of his equally dark coffee. He made a face, and you couldn't help but smirk.

You thought about his request. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to tell him a few things about yourself. Right? “The creamer is in the fridge,” you said as he made another face at the bitter taste, “and I’m willing to share certain things with you, as long as you’re willing to share with me.”

“deal,” he smiled kindly as he got up to fill his mug with creamer. You’ve always had a taste for black coffee. Something about the bitter taste made you feel a little bit stronger. Bold enough to face the day head-on and not to take shit from anyone. Arthur gingerly sat back in the chair and eyed the toast. You hoped the large bite you took would encourage him to eat as well. Lord knows he needed nutrients.

“Why is your nickname Jon,” He asked and finally took a small bite of toast. Your face heated as you realized you would have to retell the embarrassing story once again.

“It was my nickname in med school,” You said with a sigh, “It is referencing a Jon Doe. Ya know the people who don't have names?" Arthur nodded for you to continue as he took another sip of coffee, this time smiling at the taste. “Anyway, it was cadaver day at the hospital, and we had to unzip the body bags to get started," You pinched the bridge of your nose and took a deep breath, "Well the zipper got caught, and I had to pull really hard to get it to budge. So hard, in fact, that the body rolled right out of the bag and onto the floor. I’ve been Jon Doe ever since.”

Arthur busted out in laughter, followed by a long groan as his ribs protested the act. You couldn’t help but chuckle yourself. As you watched Arthur catch his breath, his face twisted in discomfort, you couldn’t help but notice how unconventionally handsome he was. When he took another deep breath and locked eyes with you, your stomach fluttered.

“So you're a med student,” He said, still clutching his side.

“Nuh-uh, my turn," You said, rolling your eyes, "Why do you seem so normal right now?” Arthur flinched at the word "normal," and you immediately felt terrible. You hadn't meant to insult him; it was just he seemed so different from the deranged man you had seen on television.

“Well,” Arthur’s face was flush as he swept back his long hair, “I guess it’s because what you saw last night was my mental health taking the front. Today, because of you, I feel more stable.” The way he looked at you, eyes sad but incredibly grateful, did something to you. Something that will do unspeakable damage to you in the long run. But at this moment you didn't care.

* * *

The two of you continued to get to know one another over the next few days. You even took two days off work to make sure Arthur was healing correctly. Thankfully the two nasty cuts began to improve with just the butterfly bandages. Arthur will end up with more than a few scars due to it, but better than having to go to the hospital.

Arthur confessed the circumstances around the first three killings, and once again, you couldn't blame the guy. He was abused, harassed, and beat all of his life. That would drive even the most mentally stable of us to kill. What you hadn't expected was him to tell you about killing his mother for all the horrible things she had done to him. She was the reason Arthur's life was the way it was. Without the severe head trauma, Arthur could have been a normal happy man. Instead, he was forced to have a condition that was mocked and ridiculed ruthlessly. All while she let him take care of her day in and day out. Disgusting. Another death you could justify.

That was when Arthur began to have laughing fits. You helped him breathe through it, hands on his face, eyes locked to one another. It was incredibly intimate. You haven’t been that close to someone in many many years. Once he calmed down, he whispered something to you, you will never forget. “That was when I broke. And you know what? It felt good. I felt happy for once in my life. I'd be lying if I said I didn’t want to feel that way again.”

Chills ran down your spine. Arthur essentially confessed that given the chance, he would kill again. Especially if it meant feeling that high one more time. And if you knew anything about chasing a high, it takes more and more to reach the same kind of euphoria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! Kudos and comments mean the world :)
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (come say hi!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I have no knowledge of the DC universe. I've never been a "Hero" kind of person, but my husband really wanted to see Joker. Little did I know id fall into Hyper fixation hell (heaven?) and not be able to think of anything other than Arthur Fleck. So I'm sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the DCU, please be kind and ignore it! Thanks!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)

Three days later, the news warned of a storm coming in. You didn't think much of it as you preferred the gloomy weather, but what you hadn't thought about was how it might affect Arthur. He never mentioned anything about a phobia or a particular fear of thunderstorms, but that night when you wished him goodnight, he looked panicked. A part of you wanted to offer him a place in your bed, if only for the night, but you feared what might happen if you let him that close to you at night. Not that he would hurt you, no, you worried you might do something you might regret. So you gave Arthur an extra blanket, an apologetic smile, and went to your bed.

You woke a few hours later, not to the sound of thunder, but instead the sound of pained laughter. You laid still for a moment to make sure you weren't dreaming. You had grown accustomed to Arthur's condition but never had it woken you in the night. A loud boom and flash of light shook the walls, and Arthur began to laugh harder, gasping and panting, desperate to catch his breath. Your heart pounded in your chest as you threw the blankets off of you and rushed into the living room. You didn't even bother to pull on your pajama pants, but who cared what you were wearing. You had to help Arthur.

As you laid eyes on Arthur, you could see how painful his attack had been. Despite his laughter, his eyes were scrunched tightly shut, and his hand pressed firmly against his mouth. Arthur hated to bother you with his condition, but this time the laughing was too out of control to stifle. His free hand clutched at his side, cracked ribs surely protesting the activity. Another loud bang made Arthur's eyes open wide, fear and unspeakable sadness shone through them. That was when he noticed you, and that fear turned into an apologetic look. You could tell Arthur was trying to say something, but the words got destroyed by more pained laughter.

You rushed to him and tried to walk him through some more breathing exercises, and despite his best efforts, he couldn't get control of himself. You had to think, and you had to think FAST. There was one thing you knew Arthur responded well to, and that was physical contact. Without another thought, you pushed Arthur's shoulders back and crawled into his lap. You pressed your body to him, and immediately his laughing became less intense.

"Shh, I'm here, it's okay," you whispered in his ear, cheek pressed against Arthur's bony shoulder, "take a deep breath, 1,2,3. Now hold it a moment. Now let it out, 1,2,3." Over and over again, you walked him through taking deep, steady breaths. As soon as his laughing was under control, Arthur began to sob. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. You were relieved, and a bit surprised when Arthur's arms wound around you in return. It scared you how good it felt to be in someone's arms, considering these arms belonged to a killer.

"Why are you so kind to me," Arthur asked, breath catching between words, "No one has ever treated me the way you do." His words broke your heart, so you held him a little tighter. Another bout of lightning and thunder racked your apartment, and the two of you clung to one another. You whispered comforting words to him and made sure his breathing stayed even and calm. Arthur was still crying when he spoke again, "I'm a monster. I have issues, and sometimes I can't control myself." He took in a few more shaking breaths, trying to steady himself. "I could hurt you on accident. I could do something that I don't mean to," He said before a hiccup wracked his body, "Yet here you are with your arms wrapped around me."

And yet here you are with your arms wrapped around him. Not only did you stay there for a bit longer, you felt safe in his arms. You pressed your forehead to the sensitive skin of Arthur's neck and inhaled. He still smelled of blood, smoke, and body, but you didn't mind. He couldn't wash more than a sponge bath until the two big gashes scabbed over.

"Despite the things you have done, you still deserve comfort," you sat back just far enough to look at his face, "We all have our problems, but that doesn't make anyone less worthy of kindness. I am sorry the world has been so cruel to you." The look Arthur gave you was filled with such admiration and longing that you finally understood. He had never felt what it was like to be cared for. Arthur had lived his life up to this point, having even his own mother be cold and uncaring when all he ever wanted was compassion. You knew that feeling better than most. Your childhood had been chaos, and you had no idea what love was until your early high school years. You could see that Arthur still wasn't sure what love was.

"You're an angel," Arthur's face heated, and his hand rushed up to cover his mouth, laughter seeping through his fingers. This time you didn't have to coach him through the breathing, he did it himself. Arthur sat there looking at you sheepishly, hand still firmly over his mouth.

"I'm no angel, and you're no monster," you took a deep breath before gently grabbing his hand and pulling it away from his face. Arthur's mouth parted slightly as he took in a deep breath. You ran your fingers through his slicked-back hair and pressed your lips to his. You heard and felt Arthur gasp at the contact, shocked by the kiss. You were shocked too. Shocked about how good it felt. It was nothing more than gentle pressure on your mouth, but his lips were warm beneath yours. Little currents of electricity coursed through your veins at the contact, but you knew you had to pull away soon.

As you pulled away, Arthur let out a genuine laugh, and you couldn't help but giggle along with him. His eyes shone with some deep feelings you weren't sure you were ready to explore, a look that no one had ever given you before. You knew this wasn't a good idea, but it sure as hell felt fantastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! Kudos and comments mean the world!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night morning after the thunderstorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look, I'm back with another update! I am enjoying writing this (which is surprising since I swore off fanfics for a while), and I hope you're enjoying it too! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @kat-o-combs and come say hi!

The thunderstorm lasted less than an hour, but the two of you spent that time wrapped in each other's arms. As much as you might have wanted to kiss Arthur again, you refrained, not wanting to overstep the thin boundaries between you two. Once Arthur had calmed down, and the loud thunder turned into soft rain, you found yourself reluctant to leave. Because of that, you offered for Arthur to come sleep in your room.

"No, thank you," Arthur politely declined your offer, and you were shocked when rejection hit you. You might have let something slip on your face as he hurriedly said, "I probably won't sleep much anyway, you need your rest." You agreed and gave him a small smile before returning to your bedroom. You would be lying if you said you didn't brush your fingers across your lips, remembering the soft warmth from earlier.

You had to open early tomorrow, and the clock read 2 a.m. only three more hours of sleep. Thankfully the butterflies in your stomach didn't keep you up much longer.

* * *

Your alarm chimed quietly next to your head, and you groaned. You hated opening, especially after a three-day "weekend." You sleepily went through your routine of getting dressed and combing your hair before leaving your room. It wasn't until halfway through that you noticed the smell of coffee...and bacon? You walked out of your room, following your nose to the kitchen. Arthur was standing in front of the stove shirtless and whistling. You kind of just stood there in awe.

Despite the bandaged injuries and the deep purple bruises, Arthur looked excellent, standing there cooking breakfast. You ogled him just a bit more before clearing your throat. If you thought him from behind was appealing to see, the thousand-watt smile he gave you when he turned around knocked you dead on your feet.

"Good morning Jon," Arthur said, voice high and cheerful. You were blown away by the overnight change in his mood. Arthur had been nothing but kind to you, but this was the closest thing to happiness you've seen from him.

"Morning," You said, smiling shyly at him, "you got hungry, did you?" You watched him as he placed three pieces of bacon, a pile of scrambled eggs, and two pieces of toast on a plate.

"No," He said and handed you the plate, "I knew you had to wake up early, and I wanted to make sure you had a good meal before work." You heard your mouth pop open in shock. Had this man really gone through the trouble of making you breakfast just to make sure you ate?

"Arthur," Your voice was barely above a whisper, "Thank you. No one has made me food for a long time." That wasn't a lie either. If you thought hard enough, you could remember your mother cooking pancakes for you. But that was when you were too young to cook for yourself. Ever since you could use the stove without hurting yourself, it was up to you if and when you ate.

You took the plate to the kitchen table and dug in. Arthur even brought you coffee in your favorite mug. Had you even mentioned that it was your favorite? Or was Arthur just that observant? You smiled down at your plate of food and realized the only thing Arthur was having was his morning cigarette.

"You need to eat," You scolded around a bite of bacon, "Here have at least a slice of my toast." You insisted he take the piece of bread, and stared him down until he took a bite.

"I'm not a fan of breakfast," Arthur made a face but continued to eat his toast. You didn't push him on the subject, but over the past four days, you had noticed he barely ate a thing. Instead, Arthur chain-smoked during meals. It wasn't the smoking that worried you, it was how malnourished he was. Soon you were going to have to have a talk with Arthur. You were the one taking care of him now, you had to keep him healthy.

Despite your worries, you finished your meal and enjoyed every bite. You weren't sure what Arthur did to the eggs, but they were delicious. The whole time, you and Arthur held a pleasant casual conversation. He asked you about work and what you did. You asked him about his plans for today and told him not to leave the apartment unless it was an emergency. You hated the thought of Arthur sitting alone in your apartment all morning, but he simply smiled and said he would watch TV. You wanted to ask him not to watch the news, but you kept your mouth shut.

"Well Its time for me to leave," You checked the clock; in fact, you were running behind, "Feel free to use anything of mine." You pulled on your raincoat and boots before reaching for the door.

"Joe, wait," Arthur grabbed your wrist before promptly letting go, "I, um, Never mind." His face was red, clearly wanting to say something.

"You can tell me," You took his hand and smiled up at him, "It's okay."

Arthur's face turned beet red, and he looked away, "Can we, um, try out that kissing thing again? Just as a goodbye?" Your heart seemed to jump out of your chest as butterflies danced in your stomach. You even had dreams about kissing Arthur. It had been like doing a drug for the first time; You immediately got hooked.

"I would really like that," you admitted as excitement coursed through your body. Arthur smiled sweetly before cupping your face in both of his hands and leaning down to kiss you. This time you opened your mouth, slotting your lips with his. Still, the kiss didn't go any deeper than a shy swipe of your tongue against his lip, desperate for a taste. Arthur pulled away abruptly at the sensation, and you feared you had pushed too far.

"I'm sorry," you dropped your gaze so he couldn't see the hurt in your eyes. You were surprised when you gently took your chin and lifted your face.

"Don't be sorry," he said, face and eyes filled with wonder, "I've just never been kissed that way before. I wasn't expecting it is all." Arthur took another quick kiss from you before rushing you out the door. You were thankful for that since you would now have to power walk to make it on time.

You had been Arthur's first real kiss. That thought both pleased and saddened you. You hadn't asked him for his exact age, but Arthur had to be in his mid-thirties. Had he really gone his whole life without ANY form of affection? No girlfriends, boyfriends, or even a dare as a teen? A part of your brain whispered for you to show him. Show him what it was like to be intimate, to be loved, to be touched, and to feel pleasure from someone else. That part of your brain was beginning to win over your rational side. Despite everything Arthur has done... you wanted him. You wanted to show him things he had never experienced. You wanted to love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm a sucker for the "Arthur has little to no experience with intimacy" trope, and this fic is self-indulgent lol I hope you are all enjoying this fic! If you are, please leave a comment and a Kudos if you haven't already ^_^
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @kat-o-combs and come say hi!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy when you decide to show Arthur the pleasure of making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I honestly didn't expect this chapter to go in this direction, but that's where the words took me, and I'm happy about it! Enjoy this first taste of smut, and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)

You and Arthur began to develop a routine of kissing goodbye before you left to work. It was still brief innocent kisses, but each time the look in Arthur's eyes slowly turned from awestruck to hungry. You knew he wanted more. Shit, you wanted more, and it was becoming a problem. Every second that you were at work, you would fantasize about Arthur. From heated make-out sessions to some of the dirtiest scenarios, you could imagine. At this point, you wondered if you had covered all the sexual bases in your mind. It was even worse when you were at home with Arthur. He was RIGHT THERE, yet neither of you took the chance. Not yet, at least. That was going to change very soon, you could feel it.

It had been a week since you took the Joker in, and the world was on fire. The riots were still rampant, and the police were searching far and wide for the criminal. Little did they know he was in your old run-down apartment, cooking, cleaning, and waiting for you. The thought brought a smile to your lips and give you a pep in your step. You've never been a "Bad" girl, you respected the rules for the most part, but you were always a "Fuck the authority" girl. You didn't care for cops and politicians and anyone who was in the place of power. They were all scum who abused the system and stepped on those less fortunate. That's why you didn't hate Arthur for what he had done. In fact, the more time you spend with him, the more you come to agree with what Arthur had done. Maybe he was corrupting you. Or perhaps you had finally accepted that you weren't meant to be this ideal citizen. You were a rule-breaker, you challenged society's norms and got away with it. You were blessed with smarts and good looks. You got away with what Arthur never could. You owed it to him to be that extension to the world.

No wonder Arthur had inspired all of the riots. He was one hell of a poster boy.

When you got home, it was just past noon, and Arthur was nowhere to be found. Your heart began to hammer in your chest as you run into the kitchen only to be met with another empty room. You reached your bedroom and flung the door open. The bed had been made, and your pj's were folded neatly on your dresser, but no Arthur. You didn't think twice about throwing the bathroom door open, and the sound of Arthur yelping brought you to a stop. He was facing away from you, completely naked, shaving his face. You startled him mid-stroke, and a small gash began to bleed. Arthur tushed to grab a towel and wrapped it around his midsection.

"Arthur, I'm so sorry, I should have knocked," You covered your eyes, but the image of Arthur's bare ass burned in your mind, "I just got home, and I couldn't find you. I was starting to panic." You replayed the scene over in your mind and found your face heating up. Arthur had put on a small amount of weight in the past week he has been with you. Maybe 5 pounds or so, but it was enough to ease that sickly look. Arthur was still thin, but oh so sexy. You had seen him nearly naked before, but this was something different. Even with the green bruises and the scabs, he looked delectable.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Arthur said before gently removing your hand from your face, "I've been enjoying the shower now that most of my cuts are healing correctly." You looked up at his face, getting lost in his green eyes. Arthur looked so good with wet hair. You had noticed it before, but this time you were up close and personal. The green had mixed well with his dark hair even though it was washing out. You contemplated picking some more dye up next time you were out.

"It's okay," You smiled at him, and the urge to kiss him rocketed through you. You couldn't help but look at his lips, and when you looked back into his eyes, the hunger was back. "Arthur," You said, biting your lips, "So you know how we've been kissing goodbye? Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go a little bit further." Arthur's eyes grew wide, and his mouth opened like he was going to say something, but stopped. "Further with kissing, I mean," You hastily finished since you weren't sure if he had understood. Of course, you WANTED to go WAY further, but for now, this was enough.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Arthur admitted, face turning red, "But if it's with you, I'm willing to try." The blind trust, mixed with his innocence, drove you mad. It wasn't his innocence per se that turned you on, but the fact that he trusted you enough to break that innocence. You took his hand and pulled him out of the bathroom. "Wait, maybe I should put some clothes on first," Arthur was still clutching at the towel around his waist. Right, he was still naked.

"Of course," You stammered, embarrassed by how enthusiastic you were, "I'll be in the living room. Come out when you're ready." On the way to the couch, you couldn't help the smile on your face. In just a few short moments, you would be making out with Arthur. Something you had been daydreaming about for days now. You would have to guide him, and it probably will be a bit awkward at first, but that's okay. The more you thought about it, you had never been anyone's first kiss before. Only Arthur's. It didn't take long for Arthur to rush out of the bathroom to stand awkwardly in front of you. He couldn't seem to look at you, instead opting to look all around the room.

It was pretty cute. You stood up and gently placed a hand on Arthur's face, "We don't have to do this if you arent ready." Despite your deep want for the man, you would never force him into anything. You respected him far too much for that.

"No, no," Arthur said, finally looking down at you, "I want to, I'm just nervous. I don't want to mess up." Your stomach did a flip, and you pulled him into a hug. Arthur wrapped his arms around you and buried his nose in your hair. You loved the way Arthur smelled. It was cigarette smoke mixed with something sweet you couldn't put your nose on. He had been wearing the cheap clothes you bought him, but he pulled them off.

"So, you've never made out with someone before," You turned your head to look up at him. He peered down at you and raised an eyebrow.

"Why would someone want to make out with me," Arthur countered with a shrug. You were convinced that many people have wanted to make out with Arthur, they just never had the guts to do it. A small part of you was relieved that he at least KNEW what making out was. From his response earlier, you had feared to have to explain the whole tongue thing to him.

"Well, I want to," You said, pulling away from him, "here, sit on the couch, and I'll sit in your lap. If that's okay?" Arthur sat in the middle of the couch, back as straight as possible. You giggled at how nervous he was, but he managed to give you a sweet smile in return. Just like the joker he was, Arthur gave his tighs a little pat.

You wasted no more time and straddled his lap, gently placing both forearms on Arthur's shoulders. He sat there with his arms curled against his chest and looking somewhat flustered. You ran your hands down Arthur's chest and grabbed both of his wrists. You guided Arthur's hands up your thighs and to your hips. The moment he felt your hands on his wrist, his eyes snapped to yours, and he couldn't look away. You watched as his mouth became slack and his eyebrows furrow. Just as you were about to lean down and kiss Arthur, panicked giggles started to fill the silence.   
  
"Shh, breathe," You whispered, leaning forward so your mouth was at his ear, "let me show you how good this can feel," You listened to his breathing slow and the giggles dye down. Arthur had mentioned how in control of his condition, he has been since meeting you; this was proof. You gently brought your lips to Arthur's neck, right below his ear, kissing it softly. Arthur inhaled sharply, hands flexing against your hip. You placed another kiss on his jaw, tasting the slightest bit of shaving cream. Next was his cheek, and each kiss earned you Arthur melting into you like putty. By the time you reached his lips, Arthur was already panting. You took a moment to look into his eyes and relish in his need for you.   
  
You hoped to never forget the look on his face at this moment. Desperate, needy, mouth open just inviting you in. You bit your lip to stifle a groan as shivers ran down your body. You couldn't resist any longer, and you gently placed your lips against his. Arthur kiss you back immediately, but he wasn't prepared for your lips to move. You kissed him sensually until he got the hang of it. You kept deepening the kiss until Arthur's mouth was open enough for you to explore. The moment you slipped into his mouth, Arthur moaned. You couldn't help but grind your hips against him as the slow deep kissing turned desperate and needy. Arthur had picked up on the technique faster than you had expected, and soon both of you were moaning into each other's mouths. Arthur's hands roamed your body, guard let down by the pleasure running between you. He grabbed your ass, pulling and pushing you against his lap. The feel and taste of his breath against your mouth, the pleasure blooming between your legs, the feeling of Arthur's hands on you; it was intoxicating.  
  
You had lost track of yourself, adrift in the moment. You couldn't differentiate whose moans were whose, and where your body began, and Arthur's ended. Your mutual pleasure began to build, and moans turned into gasps, and slow rolls of your hips turned into desperate grinding. You hadn't planned this, but Arthur wasn't stopping, so you sure as hell weren't. Why not jump to third base? You threaded your hands into Arthur's hair and pulled; that was enough to set him off. You sat back and watched him fall apart in front of you. The sight was so erotic that your pleasure peaked and sent you spiraling down into one of the best orgasms you've ever had.   
  
The two of you sat panting in each other's arms, and guilt slowly seeped into your mind. This wasn't what you had asked from Arthur, and you were terrified you had pushed too far. What if he had been too afraid to tell you to stop? You sat up and searched his face for any signs of distress, but instead, you found adoration.   
  
"Wow," Arthur sighed before chuckling, "That was something else." You stared at the natural smile that filled his face. It was one of the few unforced smiles you've seen on Arthur, and you fell in love with it. You smiled openly back at him as you caressed his face. This was unlike anything you had ever experienced before. This was deep, and you dove right into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, what did you guys think?? :) Kudo's and comments are my fuels to continue!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could Arthur's rough morning turn into you being ruffed up this evening?
> 
> [omg that was cheesy and awful...im sorry lol]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really interested to see what you guys think of this chapter!

You were woken up by the smell of burning bread and loud laughter. Arthur had tried to make you breakfast like usual, but he ruined the bacon, and somehow nearly caught the toaster on fire. You could tell something was off with Arthur. You hastily threw on your work clothes and met him in the kitchen. Arthur’s face was full of panic as he scrambled around to fix what he had done. It was hard to watch, so without another word, you simply began to help pick up the pieces. You unplugged the toaster and scraped the burnt remnants of toast into the trash. When you turned back around, Arthur was sitting on the floor with his head between his knees. The laughter was getting louder and more violent as he gasped for air when he could. You sat down in front of him and pulled him into your chest. 

“Arthur, shh,” You said, rocking back and forth, “deep breaths. It's okay, I’m right here.” It was routine now to help calm Arthur down. It never bothered you. Thankfully the closer you grew, the easier it was to comfort him. You could simply just hold him close to you, and he would melt into your embrace. You kissed the top of Arthur’s head as you rocked him in your arms. The laughing faded into silence, but the two of you still clung to one another. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered against your chest. You squeezed him a little bit tighter before nudging him to look at you.

“What happened,” you asked, searching his face for answers, “did you have a nightmare or something?” It wasn’t often that Arthur slept, but when he did, his dreams were plagued with suppressed memories. 

“No,” Arthur said and leaned back against the fridge, “I turned on the news this morning. My face was plastered all over. People were calling me a monster, a psycho, that I should be put to death for what I’ve done.” The laughter began to bubble again as tears ran down his face. You had known this day would come. You didn’t want to give Arthur “Rules.” He was a grown man after all, but you should have warned him about the news. “Do you think I should be killed for what I’ve done,” Arthur’s laughing abruptly stopped, face severe and cold. 

“No, I don’t,” You answered honestly. Arthur was a mentally disturbed man; he was in a delusional state when he killed those people. If anything, Arthur deserved help, not death. He nodded, clearly rooted in his own thoughts. “Do you want me to call in sick today,” you needed the money, but Arthur’s well being was more important, “I have a double shift. I will be gone until 3 otherwise.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Arthur said, looking up at you with a stony face, “You go to work, and I’ll be here when you get home.” You hesitated, but you really did need the money. You searched Arthur’s eyes for any sign he was lying to you, but couldn’t find any. 

“Okay, but I’ll leave my works phone number in case you need to call me,” You said and grabbed a piece of paper. Arthur stood up from the ground and wrapped his arms around you. You smiled at the warm pressure against your back. “I do have to leave right now,” You said, turning in his arms, “Please promise you’ll call if you need anything.”

Arthur leaned down and kissed you. Ever since that first time you really kissed him, he seems to crave you more and more. You clung to Arthur as he ravished your mouth with his. “I promise,” Arthur said with a wink, “Have a good day at work.” You were swooning as you walked out the door. Once Arthur had gotten the hang of kissing, he had mastered his technique. It was blissful. 

* * *

Your workday was uneventful. You dealt with the usual rude customers and the ones who seemed to want to talk your ear off. The only thing weird about today was the feeling of being watched. Everywhere you went, you seemed to feel someone staring at you. Thankfully your last break was only an hour before you clocked out. You stepped outside to take in the “fresh” air. Normally people would just walk past you, not even sparing a look, but today a man approached you. 

“Nice day out, isn’t it,” the man asked, and for a moment, you didn’t realize he was asking you. 

“Oh, uh yeah, its kinda nice,” You smiled politely at the man. He was dressed in a suit, and you could tell he was one of the wealthy ones. You held a polite conversation with him, what else were you going to do. When you had to get back to work, the man followed you inside. Your heart started pounding; you weren’t used to men giving you attention. It scared you more than complimented you. You were relieved when he stopped following you to take place in line.  _ Stop being paranoid, he just wants some coffee. _

When it was his turn in line, you had taken over register duty, “Hello, what can I get for you?”

“I'll have a large black coffee,” You punched in the order, but before you could give him the total, he said, “and a date with you this evening?” Your mouth dropped, but you quickly composed yourself with a smile. You couldn’t risk getting another write-up. 

“Oh, um, thank you,” You put on your sweetest smile, “but I have something to take care of at home.” You hoped that he wouldn’t push the subject and take the rejection with ease. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to happen.

“Here, take my number,” He handed you a business card and winked, “You call me whenever you have an evening off.” The man paid for his coffee and stepped aside to wait. You quickly tucked the card into your apron and moved on with the next order. As you were about to ask the next customer what they wanted, a loud crash echoed right outside the shop. Someone was running in the opposite direction, and a newspaper box was laying sideways on the sidewalk. Had someone just kicked the box over before running away? For a moment, you feared it might have been Arthur. You didn’t have time to dwell on what happened as there were plenty of thirsty customers waiting for you. 

When three o’clock hit, you were nearly dead on your feet. You had little to no time to even sit down while at work, much less rest. This was one of those times you wished you had a car. But no, you had to walk fifteen minutes home after a 12-hour shift. The worries of the day had melted away into exhaustion. Maybe Arthur would be interested in taking a bath together. The image of the two of you pressed against one another in a hot bath made you smile. If you were honest with yourself, Arthur was the only thing keeping you going. It even pushed your feet to walk a little faster. 

Your smile grew the closer you got to your apartment. The stairs looked awfully tempting, as the elevator was slow and bumpy, but your exhausted legs wouldn’t allow it. So, you stepped into the bin, slammed the number five, and bounced with excitement. The ride up felt like it took ages, and you were getting impatient. The moment the doors opened, you ran down the hallway, legs be damned. You fumbled with the keys, giddiness making you laugh. When you finally threw the door open, you were met by something that stopped you in your tracks. 

Arthur was standing in front of the window, looking out. His silhouette was darker than the bright afternoon sun pouring in. Arthur was taking a long drag from his cigarette and ran a hand through his hair. It looked greener than it had been this morning… and where did he get those clothes? Your heart began to pound as a laugh ended the silence. 

With one more drag from his cigarette, Arthur threw it out the window and slowly turned. The first thing you noticed was his painted face. It didn’t look much different than it had on the day you met, just not smudged. The next thing you saw what the crazed grin on his face. Arthur, no, Joker was looking at you with a smug smile and a raised eyebrow, “Hello sweetheart. Did ya miss me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Left you with a bit of a cliff hanger, did I?? I would say sorry, but what you are feeling right now is appart of every writers joy lol So sorry, not sorry lol. 
> 
> Kudos, comments, and anything else is welcome and wanted! :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had been so excited to see Arthur, but maybe Joker was a bit more fun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See guys; I didn't make you guys wait too long! Muahahaha lol anyway, I hope that you guys enjoy this next part! Please heed the tags! Also! We hit the 10k mark! This is officially the longest piece I've ever written lol.
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!) {im considering making a writing blog for Joker, what do you guys think?}

“Arthur,” You slowly stepped forward to close the door, “Where did you go today?” He scoffed when you said his name, but you refused to call him Joker. No, no matter what was going on mentally with him, he was still YOUR Arthur. 

“Oh, you know, here and there,” Joker did a little two-step before striking a pose, “Everywhere.” The way he said that word made shivers wrack your body. Despite your fear, you were glad that Arthur was okay. He could have gotten caught or even killed today, and you thanked the heavens that didn’t happen. 

“Did you follow me to work,” You asked, back still firmly pressed against the door. Joker seemed to contemplate how to answer, finger lightly tapping his chin. You waited, not daring to speak another word.

“Well, yes. Yes, I did,” Joker said, finally making a move to come closer, “And I found out a loooooot of interesting things today. Do you wanna hear about them?” You didn’t answer his question, which seemed to only piss him off more. Joker took another few steps, and this time he was very much in your personal space. Your bodies weren’t touching, but there was no room to escape. “Sweetheart, I asked you a question,” Joker reached up to move a stray piece of hair behind your ear, “Do you want to hear about what I learned today?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from jerking at the contact.  _ This is Arthur. This is still my Arthur.  _ “Sure,” you said, “Tell me what you learned today.” You stared up at Joker as he closed the distance between you. You could have sworn he was about to kiss you, but instead, Joker ran his hand up your body. From your hips, all the way to your neck, even stopping a moment to cup your breasts. You couldn’t help the surge of lust that coarse through you. 

“I discovered a little thing called jealousy,” Joker said, fingers wrapping around your throat, “It’s an awful feeling, you know. Searing and hot.” Your heart pounded as the pressure against your neck increased. Joker never completely cut off your air supply, but the pressure kept you rooted in place. “I've been going crazy all cooped up in this place,” Joker gestured around with his free hand, “I wanted to go pick up a few things from Penny’s apartment and swing by to see what my girl was doing.” You had known someone had been following you all day. Truthfully, you were relieved it was him and not the police. “It was interesting to see you interact with different customers. The fake smiles you put on,” Joker’s hand slid back down to your chest, cupping your breast, “I wondered if you would have given me that same fake smile if I had walked into the shop one day. I wanted to think not. I wanted to believe that you only genuinely smiled for me.” 

“I do only smile for you, Arthur,” You said, not really sure where he was going with this, “Everyone else is just a customer.” Joker began to stroke his fingers over your breast, and it didn’t take long for your nipples to harden. Once they were to his liking, Joker pinched hard, making you gasp. Pain and pleasure mingled, and you couldn’t help but squeeze your legs together. 

“Oh, but I saw the way that man looked at you,” Joker leaned in to whisper in your ear, “I could have killed him, you know. I wanted to.” You shivered as he continued to run his fingers over you, heightening your sensitivity. Part of you cursed the thin bra you had worn, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the sensation. “I thought you would have told the guy to fuck off,” Jokers hand slipped from your chest and down to the buttons of your pants, “But no, You smiled at him and talked to him.” Joker shoved his foot between yours and forced your legs apart before opening your pants. The fear you had been feeling ramped up a level. Surely Arthur wouldn’t go too far. Even as the Joker, you hoped he wouldn’t hurt you. 

“Did you want to fuck him,” Joker growled in your ear, “Did you like the way he looked at you?” Joker took both hands and pulled your pants down to your knees. You tried to close your legs, but his knee was wedged between your thighs. One hand came up to cup your pussy, and you moaned. “Answer me, sweetheart,” Joker said, pressing harder against your damp panties.

“No,” You said over a groan, “No, you’re the only one I want,” Joker growled in your ear before taking your mouth with his. He continued the slow ease and push of his palm against you as he ravished your mouth. You fully submitted to him. You weren’t sure what had come over you, but deep down, you knew he wouldn’t take things too far. So why not enjoy yourself? 

Joker bit down hard on your bottom lip, causing you to cry out. The pain seared right down to your groin, and for a moment, you thought you would cum. “That’s right, sweetheart,” Joker took the hem of your panties and slid them down, “You are mine. No one else can touch you the way I can.” You held your breath in anticipation as Joker teased the skin along your hip. You were sure that your face was filled with pure lust as you locked eyes with Arthur. “No one can please you like I can,” Joker licked you across your open lips as he finally slipped a finger through your folds. 

You knew Arthur had been inexperienced, but Joker seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He teased you, fingers gliding just around your clit. You wanted to scream at him to touch you, but you wouldn’t dare. Joker was watching your every reaction, face smug and oh so sexy. Finally, he closed his fingers together and ran a long strip up your pussy. Pleasure exploded through you, and you moaned loudly. You were already on edge from the teasing, but now that he was really touching you, this wasn’t going to last long. 

“You are mine,” Joker growled before picking up the pace, “You will only cum for me. Look at how desperate you are for me.” You couldn’t hide how turned on you where by this whole thing. As much as you loved the sweet Arthur, Joker was a whole different person. A sexy, confidant, rough lover who talked dirty and sent you soaring to new heights. “I bet if I told you to cum, you would without a second thought,” Joker said and stopped touching your clit. You protested, hips frantically, grinding against the air, “Tell me that I'm the only man who can make you cum.”

“Arthur, please,” You begged, desperate for release, “You are the only man I want. The only man who can make me cum. Fuck, please, I need you. My body is yours.” You must have said the magic words because Joker groaned in pleasure. His fingers found their way back to your sensitive clit and took up a breakneck pace. You were immediately back on edge, moans and gasps came out of your mouth over and over. “Please, baby. Please let me cum,” You couldn’t help but beg. Joker’s reaction only fueled you to continue. 

“Cum for me, sweetheart,” Joker said, voice so sweet you almost thought it was Arthur. Your eyes snapped to his as the pleasure peaked, and you shattered. Your orgasm wracked through you and called out Arthur’s name. It was intense and lasted longer than the ones you had given yourself. As you came down, little twitches of aftershock making you shudder. When you opened your eyes, you watched as Joker brought his glistening fingers to his mouth and sucked. It was insanely erotic. 

“I can’t wait to taste more of you,” Joker grinned teasingly, “but that’ll have to wait for another time.” His eyes had immediately softened the moment you called Arthur’s name. He was still very much Joker, but you could see his mind beginning to stabilize. He took a deep breath and then helped you pull your panties and pants back up. You were at a loss, but Joker took your face into his hands and kissed you sweetly. You melted into the kiss, willing and wanting. “A pleasure as always, Jon,” Joker winked before pulling back. You were left on shaky legs, still catching your breath. You watched as he pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. Joker smoked while he danced around your apartment to silent music only he could hear. 

When he made his way back to you, Joker took your hands and whirled you around. The two of you danced and laughed for what seemed like hours. You were exhausted from the day but couldn’t ask him to stop. You could see his mind ease as he whirled you around. Arthur always loved the sound of your laugh and had told you that on several different occasions. You knew you could handle this side of Arthur. As much as it had scared you, he didn’t hurt you. Joker had never pushed you too far. He skirted the edge of your boundaries but never crossed them. You could feel safe with him. 

Maybe that’s the moment you fell into madness. To trust a killer, but you didn’t care. The rush of leaving your inhibitions behind and just enjoy yourself was an all-time high. One that didn’t seem to be coming down anytime soon. You knew you were falling in love with Arthur, but you knew you would love the Joker side of him too. You could love Arthur Fleck as a whole. Not just one side or the other. Maybe fate had brought you two together, or perhaps he could sense the insanity that hovered right on the edge of your mind. Either way, you would never regret meeting Arthur that night. You haven’t felt free for a long time. Your passion for life had left you many years ago, but now it was back full force. All thanks to Arthur. You grinned as you finally flopped down on the couch. You were going to have to return this favor, and you knew precisely how to do it. You had the day off tomorrow.

“Hey Arthur,” You tipped your head back to look at him, “Let's take a bath together tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, how did I do? :) Did this satisfy your guys' curiosity? 
> 
> Kudos, comments, and sharing are welcome! 
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!) {im considering making a writing blog for Joker, what do you guys think?}


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get a chance to repay Arthur for the events of last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, I'm back after a busy day, and I have to say, I'm not confident in this chapter. I struggled to write it, and I really can't afford to rewrite it. I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! 
> 
> Oh! And I made a Joker/Arthur request blog on Tumblr! So go check out joker-flecked-me for more content!

That evening you watched as Joker slowly calmed and stabilized back into the Arthur you had come to adore. It was an interesting thing to witness, the slow meshing of his personalities. You had ruled out DID, Joker was still Arthur, just a sort of mental alter ego. This wasn’t a split in his mentality, it was just how he acted when something upsetting happened. The more Arthur calmed down, the less “Joker” he was. Arthur was still on a high when you chose to finally go to bed, and in the spur of the moment, you asked if he wanted to sleep in bed with you. You had to specify that sleeping was the only thing you would be doing, but he agreed, nonetheless.   
  
The next morning you woke up to Arthur curled around you, sound asleep. You had never actually seen Arthur asleep before. He looked peaceful and surprisingly younger. The lines of worry that marked his face during the day had smoothed out and relaxed. Arthur’s mouth was open slightly, and his hair hung loosely around his face. If you could, you would have snapped a photo right then and there. Unfortunately, your bladder was beginning to protest, and you had to get up.   
  
“Arthur, honey, I have to get out of bed,” You said, and shifted out of his grip. You hated having to disturb him. You rushed off to the bathroom and quickly returned. Arthur was laying in your bed, sprawled out with a cigarette in his mouth. “good morning,” you said, smiling as you crawled back onto the bed, and back into his arms. The two of you haven’t cuddled like this before, but Arthur brought his arm around you like it was a habit.  
  
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Arthur said, taking one last drag from his cigarette before putting it down, “I’m sorry for yesterday.” Arthur’s tone was serious, and he shifted in your arms so he could look at you. “I can make excuses all day, but I just went kind of crazy with jealousy,” he looked ashamed and sad. Gone was the peaceful sleeping man in your bed.   
  
“It's okay,” you said, hoping the sincerity showed in your eyes, “Besides, I kind of liked it.” If it were anyone other than Arthur, you would have buried your head in embarrassment. But it was Arthur, so you were honest and looked him in the eye as you said it. A smirk came to his face when your words finally made sense to him.  
  
“You did,” He asked a bit cockily, and you nodded. To show him just how much you liked it, you leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was hungry but still slow and passionate. You caressed Arthur’s face, ran your fingers through his hair, and savored the taste of his mouth. Arthur was the first to groan into the kiss, which only spurred you on. It had been so terribly long since you’ve felt this kind of driving lust for someone.   
  
“Do you remember what I asked you yesterday,” You asked out of breath from kissing. You knew Arthur had agreed to the bath together while still very much Joker, but you hoped he would again say yes.  
  
“About sharing a bath,” You nodded to confirm, “Yes, I remember.” Arthur was blushing, and he reached up to pick at his eyebrows. You had noticed that habit from the very first night you met. Arthur would pick at his hair and eyebrows when he was nervous or upset.  
  
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” you reassured him. You sat up and took his hand into yours, gently caressing the veins along his arm. Arthur sighed contently and enjoyed the sensations you were giving him. You loved how soft his skin was underneath your fingers, which immediately made you think of how much smoother his cock would feel in your hand.   
  
Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and said, “I want to.” Your stomach flipped with anticipation and nerves. You may not be a newbie like Arthur, but it been a long time since someone saw you naked. “I’ve never really been naked in front of anyone besides my mother,” Arthur said, making a face at the thought of his mom, “But I trust you.”   
  
You kissed the palm of Arthur's hand before pressing it to your cheek, “It’s been a while for me too.” Your confession seemed to bring peace to Arthur as he began to rub his thumb along your bottom lip. “Do you want to take one now,” You asked, giving him the best bedroom eyes, you could manage. You slipped your tongue out and licked his thumb, before taking it in your mouth. You sucked on his thumb and watched his eyes turn hungry. Just the way you had hoped. Arthur didn’t have to say yes. Instead, he let you pull him off the bed and toward the bathroom.  
  
He was still wearing the clothes from last night, but they were much more disheveled. You had been blessed with one of the buildings' largest bathrooms, which included a tub that could accommodate the two of you with ease. You turned on the hot water and added your favorite lavender-scented bath oil. Arthur was standing awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom, and truthfully you weren’t entirely sure where to start. Arthur might see you as some “sexpert,” but that wasn’t the case. You knew what you liked and what you wanted, but you still had some nerves of your own. Now you were both standing there awkwardly as the water began to fill the tub. The two of you met eyes and burst into laughter. Not the forced laughter, no, it was pure joy.   
  
“Can I kiss you,” Arthur asked, stepping closer. You nodded, leaning up to meet him. You wrapped your arms around Arthur's neck, fingers tangling in his hair. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you flush against him. It wasn’t long before you both were moaning and biting at each other’s mouths. You brought your hands to the hem of his shirt and pulled. You broke the kiss as Arthur let you remove his shirt. It was his turn to remove your top, and your heart skipped a beat. You felt the cold air hit your naked breasts and heard Arthur’s huff. Your face heated as he looked over your bare chest.   
  
“You can touch them,” You said, voice breathy with need. Arthur reached out with just his fingertips and ran them over your sensitive skin. Your eyes fluttered closed as Arthur took his time feeling and exploring your chest. Each caress and tug of your nipples sent heat searing downward. You could feel the dampness in between your legs. You reached for Arthur’s mouth once again in an intense kiss, and the remainder of your clothes were soon discarded. Both of you stood naked in front of one another. Not just bare physically, but emotionally too. Arthur looked at you, hungrily, and you knew you were doing the same. Arthur was much more well endowed than you had imagined, and your mouth watered.   
  
“I think the bath is full enough,” Arthur said, clearing his throat, and you giggled. He was right, the tub was filling up quickly, and if you hadn’t turned it off just then, it was sure to overflow with both of you in it.   
  
“You get in first,” you moved aside so Arthur could step into the hot water. He hummed as he sank into the bath, skin flushing from the heat. You always made your baths a bit warmer than most, and you were glad he liked it. Arthur pulled his knees up so you could seat yourself opposite to him. You brought his legs over yours and gently rubbed them. You made your way up to his calves and then to his thighs, enjoying the wait the hair tickled your palms. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday,” You said, fingers skirting the inside of his thighs, “You made me feel so good. I want to make you feel good too.”  
  
Arthur’s mouth parted; eyebrows turned up with anticipation. His cock was laying against his stomach, and you gently rubbed your hand up the shaft. Arthur’s desperate moan sent such pleasure through you that you moaned with him. You worked your hand up and down slowly, taking in every change in Arthur’s reaction. His head was pressed against the wall, eyes closed and moaning openly. You couldn’t help but pick up the pace, just to watch him gasp and thrust up into your palm. The bath oil helped ease the friction as your hand glided seamlessly on his cock. You began to swipe your thumb up and over the head with each upstroke, and Arthur was soon tensing. A small part of you wanted to edge Arthur until he was begging to cum, but this was his first handjob, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him.   
  
“Fuck, baby, fuck,” Arthur chanted, his hips unable to stop jerking with each stroke. You knew he was close, and it blew your mind how turned on that made you.   
  
Your pace quickened once more and moaned, “Cum for me, Arthur.” A few more strokes and he was coming undone underneath your hand. You watched as Arthur’s face scrunched in pleasure, grunts, and moans accompanied his panting breathes. You shifted in the bath, not caring when a decent amount of water sloshed onto the floor. You pressed your body against Arthur’s and kissed him once more. You kissed him sweetly as he came down from his orgasm, fingers running through your hair.   
  
“Wow,” Arthur whispered against your lips. You laid there in the cooling water, merely enjoying the feeling of skin on skin. Your heart soared, knowing that you were able to give this amazing man so much pleasure. Sure, it made you hunger for more, but it was fun taking your time. Experiencing all of his firsts and easing his way into sex. You just hoped nothing bad would happen before you two could get to that point. You still hadn’t talked to Arthur about him leaving the apartment. You knew he couldn’t stay cooped up forever. You needed to find a solution.

“well, I guess we should shower now,” You teased since both of you had been sitting in cum water for who knows how long. Arthur laughed and agreed. At least you could shower together, wash each other's back, and all that cheesy stuff. You pushed your worries out of your mind. It's better to enjoy the moment while you could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think?
> 
> Am I taking my time going through all of Arthur's fists? Yes. Are you guys bored with it? I hope not. 
> 
> Either way, let me know in the comments!
> 
> Oh! And I made a Joker/Arthur request blog on Tumblr! So go check out joker-flecked-me for more content!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter, and it was exactly what I needed after yesterday's fiasco lol Thank you to everyone who told me you liked the last chapter! It was much appriciated :)
> 
> Don't forget to check out my Tumblr for more Arthur/Joker content! @joker-flecked-me

Another week had gone by without incident. Arthur’s happiness and confidence continued to grow, and you noticed little traces of Joker left behind. Ever since the day Joker had pressed you up against the wall, Arthur had changed. Not in the wrong way, no, but it was still a change. He didn’t hesitate to kiss you, he seemed freer in his own body. The two of you now shared a bed at night, which led to many sloppy make-out sessions. There were even a couple nights where hands were used to please one another. It was fantastic. You had stopped worrying about Arthur leaving the apartment, and you picked up some more hours at the shop. You wanted to buy Arthur some high-quality face paint to give him something to do during the day. 

You clocked out of your final day at work before getting three days off. You had scheduled this not long after the Joker incident, so you and Arthur could spend more time together. You had never been in love before, but this light feeling in your chest felt pretty darn close. You no longer sulked your way to, and through work, you smiled genuinely at customers and hummed on your way home. Today, you stopped by a costume shop and bought the new paints you had been eyeing. The price was high, but you couldn’t wait to see the look on Arthur’s face when you handed it to him.

You practically skipped the whole way home, feeling light as a feather and more blissful than you ever had. Even the slow elevator ride didn’t dampen your mood, nor did the bills in your mailbox. You once again fumbled with your keys, before pushing the door open. Arthur wasn’t in the living room, but you took your time hanging up your coat and taking off your shoes. Arthur had been spending more time lying in bed than sitting in the living room. Just the other night, Arthur had confided in you that he never had a bed of his own. When Arthur was younger, he would share a bed with his mother. But once he hit his teens, it was the couch for him. So, Arthur had been enjoying the luxury of sleeping in a bed. You didn’t mind, of course, it made you happy that you could provide that for him. 

You wrapped the face paint tightly in its bag and snuck over to your bedroom door. You cracked it open only to find the bed empty. Maybe Arthur was in the shower? You knocked on the bathroom door to no answer. Cautiously you opened the door and was once again met with an empty room. Your body froze in place. If Arthur were in the kitchen, he would have heard you come in and greeted you. Arthur wasn’t here. You dropped the face paint on the floor and rushed back out of your apartment. You had to find him. You had to find Arthur. You knew where Penny’s apartment was, and you hailed a taxi. You rattled off the address, and the driver said, “Wait isn’t that the place that psycho that killed Murry on tv lived?”

“I, um,” You stammered, shit, “I am a relative, and I need to pick up some of my aunt’s things.” The driver didn’t question you anymore, thankfully. Your knee shook as the car slowly made its way across town. You wondered if it would have been faster to run, but after a long week at work, you really didn’t want to. Every possible outcome ran through your head. Was Arthur bored with you? Had things not gone fast enough for his liking? Could Arthur have gotten arrested? There was no sign of forced entry, so he had to have left willingly. You hoped he was at Penny’s place and not locked up in some loony bin. 

You practically threw the cash at the driver before sprinting out of the car. You took the stairs, this time you KNEW it would be faster. You skidded to a stop when you saw the door flung open. You peered inside and saw men packing everything into boxes. Your heart dropped. If Arthur had shown up while these men were here, he would have gotten arrested on the spot. Damn it. 

“Who are you,” A woman’s voice asked from behind you. You jumped in surprise, not expecting someone to notice you. You turned around and saw a beautiful woman with natural black hair. 

“Um, I'm a friend of Arthur’s,” You rattled off, still lost in thought. She made a face at you, and that’s when you noticed the little girl at her leg.

“Arthur doesn’t have any friends,” She countered, pushing her daughter behind her, “You’re one of those freaks who fawn over that murderer, aren’t you? Get the fuck out of our building.” Your stomach flipped, and you wanted to defend Arthur, but you couldn’t waste any more time here. You rushed off past the woman who yelled, “If I ever see you back here, I’ll call the cops!”

You couldn’t shake the bad feeling you had, and this incident with Arthur’s neighbor didn’t make it any better. The next stop would be checking his old place of employment. Your nerves were too shot to take another taxi, so you walked. Or jogged, really. You had always hated running, but the sheer adrenalin and worry coursing through your body pushed you forward. Thankfully it wasn’t far from Arthur’s old apartment, and you reached it in no time. You tried to peer inside but couldn’t see a thing. You took a deep breath and pushed through the doors, walking into a sort of locker room filled with a few men.

“Hey, who the fuck let you back here,” A man demanded, startling you. You stepped back but ran into another person. You turned around and hoped to see Arthur, but it was just another stranger.

“Oh, um,” once again, words seemed to slip your mind, “I think I have the wrong place.” You went to turn around and leave, but the man stepped in front of you. 

“Wait a minute,” He said, crowding into your personal space, “You’re already here, why not stay a while.” The man winked and licked his lips. You really needed to leave. You tried once again to step around the guy, but he stopped you again. 

“Please, I’m trying to find someone,” You postured yourself to kick the man in the balls if you had to, “So please let me pass.” The man took a step forward, forcing you to step back; further into the room. You took three deep breaths and prepared to kick and run.

“Hey, leave the woman alone,” A man with dwarfism had recently come into the room, “Stop being a jackass and let her through.” The large man huffed and stepped aside. You wanted to think the man who stood up for you, but lingering any longer was a bad idea. You rushed back out into the street and hailed a taxi. You had one last place to look. The comedy club. 

Arthur had told you about the place fondly. It was the only place in town where he could perform and not get harassed about it. That was until the Murray show aired a video of his standup routine. Once again, you had to suffer through another gruelingly long cab ride. You hopped, you would find Arthur once you got back home. Maybe you had missed him somehow, and he was now lying in your bed worrying about you. That thought alone almost made you tell the cab driver to take you home. Almost. The comedy club was mostly empty as the night was still young. You hated not being able to ask someone if Arthur was there, but you couldn’t let people know you were looking for him. You snuck backstage and wandered through the hallways. No sign of Arthur. 

Tears prickled your eyes, and your body felt heavy.  _ Please be home, please be home. _ You walked back, mind filled with silent pleas. Tears were now streaming down your face, and with one more whispered prayer, you opened your door. Your apartment was empty. You sank down onto the couch and sobbed. You didn’t want to believe he had left you willingly, yet you didn’t want to think that he was out there or in jail for any other reason. You wanted to scream and throw things, but instead, you sat as still as possible. 

After your tears ran dry and the sun had set, you flipped on the TV to fill the silence.

_ Joker strikes again? Two wealthy men were found shot and killed outside of their place of work around 4 p.m. Witnesses say a man in clown makeup had pulled a gun before shooting both men in broad daylight. The suspect matches the description of Arthur Fleck, or more commonly known as Joker. Please, if you have any information on his whereabouts or this crime, please call the number below. _

_ _

Your mouth hung open as the news anchor read the report and showed a photo of the two victims. Your body chilled as you recognized one of the men. He was the guy who hit on you a week ago. He had been visiting your coffee shop daily since then, and sure, he flirted with you, but you shut the guy down every time. Somehow your body got even colder as you realized Arthur must have been following you to work. Every day. And you had no idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the happiness and smut couldn't last forever! Sorry guys! 
> 
> What did you think? :)
> 
> Don't forget to check out my Tumblr for more Arthur/Joker content! @joker-flecked-me


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was a rough one for me. I've been very nauseous all day, and I can see it affected my writing. I hope this meets your guys' standards!
> 
> For more Arthur/Joker content check out my Tumblr @joker-flecked-me

You spent the rest of the evening going between crying your eyes out and feeling completely numb. Your body felt like lead, and you ached all over. You were sweaty and gross from running all over town, but you couldn’t bear to leave the tv. You sat with your knees pulled against your chest and the Tv blaring on the news channel. They continued to broadcast the Breaking News, and each time they showed a picture of Arthur’s face, you would burst into tears. Where was he? At least you knew he hadn’t been caught…yet. You couldn’t make yourself go to sleep when any moment they could announce that Joker had been arrested. 

Despite your best efforts, you began to slip in and out of consciousness. Each time you would fall asleep, flashes of Arthur in handcuffs, beaten to a pulp, fill your mind. You jerked awake only to sit and watch the news until doing it all over again. Nightmares plagued your mind when you finally fell into exhaustion. You kept seeing Joker’s face, smiling at you, telling you how bored he was of you. How he only wanted to fuck you, but you wouldn’t put out. Then you had dreams of Arthur begging to see you, pleading for the police to call you. For you to save him. You could feel hot tears pouring down your cheeks, but you couldn’t wake up.

You even had dreams of waking up, and this whole thing is a nightmare. You would cling to Arthur, kiss him, make love to him, only for the dream to wash away back into nightmares. It was like your mind was torturing you. All you wanted was to have Arthur again, you didn’t care if he killed those men, you wanted your boyfriend back. When you finally came to, it was 7 o clock in the morning. The nightmares that seemed to have lasted DAYs only lasted five hours. Your face was sticky with old tears, and you were freezing. The news was still booming on your TV, but nothing new had come up. The small hope that Arthur hadn’t been caught gave you the energy to take a bath.

That wasn’t the best of ideas. The moment you walked into the bathroom, you remembered the sweet moments you and Arthur had shared. You wanted to retreat into your living room, but the cold had seeped into your bones, and you desperately needed warmth. You turned the water on much hotter than you usually do. The water stung your skin as you sank into the tub. You curled your knees up as memories of what had happened here flooded your mind. The image of Arthur needy and desperate for your touch filled your thoughts. The way he laughed as you washed his hair, the way it felt to be in his arms, the way he looked at you. You were crying again, amazed there were any tears left. 

You sat in the bath until the water turned cold, and you began to shiver once again. It was late morning when you finally managed to leave the bathroom. You made yourself some toast and tried to keep it down. There was no way in hell you would be able to keep any coffee down today. The news was running a profile of Arthur, and you watched curiously. They didn’t seem to have a lot of information about him, other than his medical history. Which was extensive. Your stomach knotted as you heard the words “physically and sexually abused” come out of the TV. Arthur had told you about the physical abuse, but nothing about being sexually abused. Your heart broke once again for the sad but delightful man you had come to love. 

One news anchor was trying to make Arthur out to be some, “Lonely basement dweller who killed for attention.” That part made you so furious you shut the tv off and rushed to your bedroom. Your new plan was to crawl into your bed and lay there for the next three days. You slept on and off, never truly resting. You forced yourself to eat and drink water whenever you could remember to. You even changed into pajamas when you realized you had put your work clothes back on.

The day turned into night, and you checked the news periodically. Nothing new, but nothing had overthrown the popularity of Joker. You tossed and turned, desperate for an escape, but sleep only came in fitful bursts. It was almost like those nights where you’re terribly sick but can’t manage to sleep more than an hour at a time. When the sun rose the next day, you were more exhausted than you’ve been in ages. You barely managed to get out of bed to use the bathroom. You flipped on the news every few hours and watched it until something either made you cry from sadness or anger. 

It was around five p.m. on the second day when you began to get angry. You were too strong for this, too independent to be debilitated over a breakup. And what kind of asshole breaks up with a woman by disappearing? The anger made room for hunger, and you ate until you were stuffed. After you ate, you managed to shower and rinse off the gunk from the last few days. The better you felt, the angrier you got. Say if Arthur didn’t want to leave you, that something had happened that pushed him over the edge, why didn’t he come to you? Why couldn’t he have waited just a few more hours for you to get home? You might not have become a doctor, but you were at the top of your class. You knew what you were doing. 

Fury made the evening fly past, a blur of reds and yellows. Then the TV began playing another Breaking News segment.

_ Did the Joker kill again? Just moments ago, the cops were called to the apartment building Arthur Fleck once lived. A man had been shot during a heated argument, says the victim’s girlfriend. She confirmed that the suspect was indeed Arthur Fleck. More at 8. _

_ _

Arthur had killed again; no JOKER had killed again. Furious tears ran down your face, and it took everything in your power not to break the plate in your hand. Joker had gone back to his building, but for what? Then the face of the victim’s girlfriend flashed on the screen. It was the woman who had yelled at you at Penny’s apartment. Sophie Dumond, according to the name underneath the picture. You tried to think back to all the conversations you had with Arthur. Had he ever once brought up Sophie? No, but he did confess to having had a girlfriend at one point before she cheated on him. Surely this couldn’t be the same woman? Right?

You made sure to be sitting right in front of the TV when 8 o’clock came around. You needed to know more about this murder and what it had meant for Joker. You knew Sophie would be interviewed, and the sight of her made your stomach twist. 

_ “Arthur is a sick man. He killed my boyfriend. Arthur had hallucinated, being in a relationship with me,”  _ Hallucinate? When questioned how she knew that to be the case, Sophie said,  _ “Arthur had walked in on my boyfriend and I. He barged right into my apartment without any regard. Then later that week, he followed me to a park my daughter was at and said I had ‘cheated’ on him. Arthur had made this whole story up in his head that we were together. It was the most terrifying and pathetic thing I’ve ever seen.” _

_ _

So she was who Arthur had been referring to. You didn’t want to believe it, but Arthur had hallucinated the whole thing with Sophie. It made sense, the way he spoke about her. The way Sophie had reacted toward you. Your head snapped back to the TV when you heard this…

_ “There was a woman at Arthur’s apartment just the other day. Claimed to be a ‘friend,’ but I’m positive she was one of those freaks who idolized Arthur. It was disgusting, and this city is disgusting. If I could, I'd leave Gotham and never come back.” _

_ _

They didn’t push for more information. What had you gotten yourself into? You had fallen in love with Arthur, the mentally unstable man, who has killed before, and will likely kill again. Were you prepared to give up your life just to chase this love? If he ever came back, that is. 

Once the fear and anger subsided, the exhaustion washed over you. Barely able to keep your eyes open, you made your way to your bedroom before passing out on the bed. You had finally fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep. You felt warmth and relaxation fill your body as you drifted through the dark, senseless ocean of sleep.

“Jon, Psssst, wakey wakey,” A familiar voice drifted through the haze, “Sweetheart, did you miss me?” You opened your eyes and was face to face with Joker. Clown makeup days old, blood-spattered across the white skin, and eyes crazed. You were terrified. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did I do? :) Sorry guys I had to drag it out JUST a bit more for you all :)
> 
> For more Arthur/Joker content check out my Tumblr @joker-flecked-me


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You confront Joker on what he has done and decide whether the risk is worth the reward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cliffhanger (not lol)! But at least I got this next chapter out bright and early for you! :) I really like where this chapter went, and I hope you all feel the same ^_^
> 
> It is on the shorter side, but it is Halloween and I've got a lot of stuff to do! :) Hope you guys understand ^_^

You scrambled to sit up in your bed. Joker was on his hands and knees right in front of you, and for the first time since you met him, you were afraid of what he may do. Your heart was beating so fast, you felt like you might pass out at any moment. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Arthur,” You said, voice shrill with panic. Joker rolled his eyes and finally gave you some space. 

“Its Joker,” He said, scolding you, “What kind of welcome home is that?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Had Joker really thought you would just be waiting here with open arms? Sure, maybe after the first two murders, …but after three? After he killed the boyfriend of his “Ex” lover. Hell no. 

“Arthur, you killed three people,” You said, pressing your back further against your headboard, “What did you expect? You left without a single word to me then show up two days later. AFTER, I search all of Gotham for you.” 

“You searched all of Gotham for me,” Joker said, only hearing what he wanted to. The look on his face softened, and for a moment, you could see a glimpse of your Arthur.

“Yes,” You said with a sigh, “but that’s not the point here. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, and I’m not even sure I want to know.” Your fear had begun to fade, but your anger had taken its place. 

“Explaining,” Joker said, clearly offended, “It's it obvious? I killed those men for YOU.” Joker began pacing back and forth in your bedroom. You watched him carefully for any sign he would become violent, “Do you have any idea what they had planned for you? Did you?” Your stomach dropped at his words. What did he mean? Was this another one of his hallucinations? When you didn’t answer, Joker growled in frustration, “They were going to hurt you, Jon. I heard the asshole talking about it. If I didn’t stop them, they were going to hurt you.” Joker’s voice cracked at the end. The thought of someone hurting you clearly distressed him. 

“Arthur, why would they hurt me,” You tried to keep your voice even despite wanted to yell at him, “They were just normal people. Normal people don’t plan to hurt someone.” You couldn’t trust what Arthur was saying. It may have been true to him, but it could have been all in his head. 

Joker stopped pacing and looked at you, “You don’t believe me?” The hurt in his voice pulled at your heart, and you looked down at your hands.

“I know about Sophie,” You whispered, not daring to look at him, “I know you killed her boyfriend. I know you thought what you had with her was real, Arthur, but it wasn’t. You have to know that.” Your hands began to shake, as you noticed Joker coming closer to you. The bed dipped under his weight, and a hand came up to tilt your face to look at him.

“I figured that much out yes,” Joker’s eyes were as cold as his voice, “But what I heard from those men wasn’t a delusion. I can guarantee that.” Joker dropped your face harshly, and you jerked. Tears began to fill your eyes, and you willed for them to dry. “And since your clearly jealous that I Killed for someone else,” Joker said, voice thick with sarcasm, “I didn’t plan on killing that man. I planned on picking a few things up from the apartment when I saw the guy smack Sophie’s daughter.” Your head jerked up to meet his gaze. 

“She didn’t mention that on the news,” you said, clearly confused. Sophie had never once mentioned abuse. 

“She didn’t see it,” Joker shrugged, “you do know most abusers aren’t seen by others, right? That’s kind of their thing.” Joker rolled his eyes, and you felt like you were punched in the gut. Once again, the memory of what had happened to Arthur ripped through you. 

“Still, you didn’t have to kill any of them,” You were losing your will to fight off your feelings, “You didn’t have to stalk me, you didn’t have to leave me without a single goodbye.” The tears that had filled your eyes began to spill over. Not sad tears, but angry ones. Arthur had left you to worry and fear what could happen to him. You couldn’t even function like an average person after he left. 

“Of course I did,” Joker yelled, his own hot tears running down his face, “I had to protect you. This world is an awful place. You’re naive to the dangers that are out there. Only I can save you from this place.” Joker continued to fume as he yelled at you. Each word crawling over your skin like spiders. “I killed those men because they were evil. I killed them so no one else would fall victim to their abuse. I killed them because I love you.”

_ Because I love you… _

_ _

Your anger vanished at his words. Arthur loved you. Joker loved you. And you loved him. As his words sank into your mind, once again, you were hit with a dilemma. You didn’t disagree with his motive, but something had to change. You had to choose between loving Arthur but having to move on due to how prominent Joker is, or you decide to love them both and forget what the world might do to you. 

“I love you too,” Your voice was soft, “but I need time to think.” Joker didn’t seem to catch the last part as he scooped you into his arms and kissed you. You could feel the excitement and love pouring out of him through the kiss. You gave in and kissed him back, but only for a moment. With one last deep kiss, you pushed Joker away and said, “Arthur, I need time to make the choice that is right for me.” 

Joker’s face filled with hurt, “but you said you loved me.” He was shaking his head over and over again.

“I do love you,” You cupped his face and looked into his eyes, “but you are dangerous. I need to make sure that this lifestyle is what I truly want. I love you, Arthur, but Joker scares me, and I need time to decide.” Joker had tears running down his face, day-old makeup running down his neck. You wanted to hold him. To tell him you would be there and that you would love him forever. But you needed to make sure you meant it. “let's get you cleaned up,” You said, pulling him along with you, “Once you’re clean, I’ll call my sister and spend the next few days at her place.” 

You helped clean the paint off of Joker’s face, and once clean, your heart broke a little more. That was Arthur’s face. The man you loved so deeply, but his personality had been askew. You had called your sister while Joker took a shower and lined up the bus tickets for early tomorrow morning. You would have to call in sick to work, but you didn’t care. When Joker stepped out, he had calmed down quite a bit.

“Please stay in the apartment,” You begged when he sat down across from you, “I need to be able to trust you. I promise I’ll come back, just please don't do anything else. Just wait until I get home. We will talk once I clear my head.”

Joker couldn’t argue with that, so he agreed. He even helped you pack the few things you needed for the next two days. It felt like a breakup. Like you were moving out and leaving him, and that broke your heart. You cried the whole bus ride to your sisters, and she didn’t hesitate to tell you how terrible you looked either. You knew you needed this break to clear your head. Your love for Arthur, your obsession with Joker, you needed to step back and weigh the options. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did I do? :) A tad bit angsty. Not the reunion some of you had wanted, but the story has to have SOME drama in it lol :) 
> 
> For more Arthur/Joker content come check out my Tumblr @joker-flecked-me


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the weekend at your sister's house, some shocking realizations set in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys! I'm back. Thank you all so much for supporting me and being so kind. An update on my friend is that he is in the hospital now and is doing okay last I heard. 
> 
> For this chapter, I know it seems a bit sudden for whats going on, but I wanted it to go this direction and was at a loss on how to get it there. I hope you guys still enjoy it!
> 
> For more Content, please follow my Tumblr @Joker-flecked-me. I currently have a 500 follower give away going on, so don't miss out!

The two days away at your sisters were…interesting, to say the least. Your sister had three kids and lived on a big ranch outside of the city. There were plenty of quiet places for you to sit and think as well as places filled with laughter and joy. You had planned on spending most of your time alone, to think of what was best for you, but every moment of silence led to tears. You wanted Arthur. You wanted to love him, to show him what life could be like when someone cared about you. You also found Joker to be incredibly sexy. When he wasn’t scaring the hell out of you, of course. As much as you needed the time away, you knew you couldn’t make any final decision without talking to Arthur.   
Both nights, your dreams were plagued by strange dreams. There were a few where you would get back home, and Arthur would be waiting for you. He would be so sorry for what he had done and swear off killing forever. Others, you walked into a bloodbath. Joker stood in your living room, covered in blood with bodies at his feet. He would beg you to be his partner in crime. The worst part of all of these dreams… You always said yes. You still went back to Arthur, back to Joker in the end. You threw away all of your concerns and jumped right into Arthur’s arms. Into Joker’s bed.   
  
The morning of the day you were due to return, somewhere deep inside, you knew your answer. You had questions, and you would demand honest answers, but you knew what would happen in the end. Anticipation and nerves filled your body with anxious energy. Your sister made a comment about you not being able to leave quick enough, and the sad part was that she was right. You loved your sister dearly, as well as your niece and nephews, but the tension was beginning to arise. The very first night you were there, the family sat down to watch the news after dinner. Of course, the headlines were still about Arthur and how dangerous he was. Your sister was revolted, called Arthur a creep, and told you he deserved to rot in hell for everything he had done. It had taken everything you had not to defend Arthur at that moment.   
  
That wasn’t the only time either. Throughout the whole weekend, your sister seemed to poke and prod you, desperate to know your opinion on these killings. She tried multiple times to get you to move back in with your parents, or even her, far away from Gotham. You couldn’t stay, you didn’t want to stay. You were the black sheep in the family. You had always had differing opinions, and Arthur was no different. That thought only solidified your answer. You, who so exceedingly wanted to become a doctor, couldn’t because the rich decided you weren’t wealthy enough for the job. You were forced to sell coffee and smile like a puppet as rich men hit on you, and rich women smirked at you. You were no more than the garbage that piled up on the streets. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that it was precisely the place you wanted to be. Low inhibitions and high rage.   
  
You left your sister at the bus stop with a hug and a kiss goodbye. The moment you turned to walk away, a sly smile crept up onto your face. Good girl be damned; it was time to let your real self shine. If this visit showed you anything, it was how held back you were. You had been raised to shame and hate the “Criminals” of the world. Well, maybe the real criminals were the rich that stole from the poor and shit on their hands while they were at it. You hadn’t realized the rage that had been building inside of you until your family was around. “What about school,” This and, “What about a career,” That. Did they really think it was your choice to drop out? “Oh, well, what about a different career path,” Your mother had said over dinner the other night. You didn’t want a different career. You wanted to heal others, you craved to patch wounds and stitch cuts and deliver babies if you had to. You didn’t want some mundane office job. You would stick with your barista job, but only until things started to look up.   
  
With your brains and Arthur’s sheer influence, you might be able to fix Gotham for good.

* * *

  
  
The bus ride back to Gotham seemed to drag. The moment you got back into the shit hole you called home, you noticed a change was already beginning to happen. The riots that had calmed down after Joker disappeared were now back in full force. People were walking down the street in clown makeup and masks while the police seemed to panic. They were outnumbered. The stench of garbage-filled your nose and even that wasn’t enough to wipe the grin off your face. Only a short cab ride back to your apartment, and you could see Arthur, or Joker, or whoever he was deciding to be that day.  
  
You unlocked your apartment door and took a deep breath. When the door slung open, you were met with the sight of Arthur chain-smoking on your couch. His knee was bouncing a hundred miles an hour, he looked like he hadn’t showered or eaten since you left, and relief was evident on his face.   
  
“You came back,” Arthur said, relief thick in his voice, “I thought you might never be back.” The dark bags under his eyes told you he must not have slept either, and your heart squeezed. This was your Arthur. This was the kind and sensitive man who clung to you like a koala. The man you left because you needed space.  
  
“I told you id be back,” You offered him an apologetic smile, “I missed you.” Tears filled Arthur’s eyes, and you could tell he wanted to rush over to you, to wrap you in his arms and sob into your shoulder. So instead, you went to him, sank into his lap, and cried along with him. You hadn’t realized how empty your heart had been until it was reunited with Arthur’s. You had finally felt whole again, and you sobbed openly. The five days of emotional torture had been exhausting, but these tears were ones of relief. Arthur was okay, he hadn’t left the apartment, and now he was back in your arms. You never wanted to let go.   
  
“I'm sorry,” Arthur pulled back to look at you, “I am so sorry for the pain I caused you.” You nodded, hand coming up to wipe his tears away. You noted that he was apologizing for your pain and not the murders he had committed.  
  
“Arthur, honey,” You took his face into your hands, “We have a lot to talk about.” Arthur stared into your eyes and nodded. At that moment, you knew he would tell you anything you needed to know. “We need to be completely honest with each other,” you said, running your fingers through his greasy, knotted hair, “no more secrets, no more sneaking out. Either of us.” Arthur sighed into your touch but agreed.   
  
“No more secrets,” Arthur said, hands gently grasping your hips, “These few days without you have been horrible. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I smoked almost all of my cigarettes, but I never left this couch.” You knew he was telling you the truth, you could not only see it in his face, but you could also see the proof around the house. “When I was Joker, I was out of line with you. I was rude, and I was certain I had lost you,” Arthur sat a bit straighter, pulled your hands from his hair and said, “but one thing that was absolutely true, is how much I love you.”   
  
You felt a tear roll down your cheek, and Arthur gently whisked it away. You and Arthur had a lot of talking to do, but for now, all you wanted was to kiss Arthur. “I love you too,” You said before gently pressing your lips to his. He tasted of stale smoke and morning breath, but you didn’t care. The feel of his mouth on yours, the way his tongue explored your mouth like it was the first time, everything about the kiss made you melt. It confirmed to you just how much you needed Arthur and just how much you were willing to give away to keep him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think? Was it believable for the Reader to realize where her morals lay? I know its a bit of a cliff hanger again, but this is all I've got today lol... 
> 
> For more Content, please follow my Tumblr @Joker-flecked-me. I currently have a 500 follower give away going on, so don't miss out!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur shows you just how sorry he is, and after the fun is over, the two of you finally talk about what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Long time no see. I know, I know, it's been a while, and I am genuinely sorry. Its been a rough time for me. My friend went to a facility and is now diagnosed and on meds. He is doing better, and we talk every day. On the other hand, I've been grieving my mother terribly lately. I just got through a really rough depressive episode. 
> 
> I've been trying to write this chapter for so long, and each time I've tried, the words just wouldn't come out until today. So I made this chapter extra long for you guys! To make up for the lost time. We hit 20k words, and this is by far the longest piece I've ever written. I am very proud. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. I can't promise when the next one will be out, but I WILL FINISH THIS FIC!

There was a lot you needed to talk about, but that could wait a few delicate moments while you reconnected again. Arthur kissed you like a dying man eating his last meal. His hands roamed your body freely, without hesitation, and your soul sang. You knew you had missed Arthur, but now that you were back in his arms, you realized just how empty you had felt for those six days. You clung to Arthur, hands fisted in his hair and hips grinding down on his lap. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to fuck him, but this whole thing was too delicate for that level of intimacy. Besides, you wanted Arthur to be ready and not just because he was desperate to keep you.   
  
Arthur broke the kiss, eyes gleaming with need, “let me show you how sorry I am.” The sultry sound of his voice made you shiver, and your need grew.   
  
“We can’t have sex,” you groaned, and Arthur lavished your neck in kisses. Your will was slipping; if he wanted to have sex with you, then he clearly wanted it. Right?  
  
“I’m not talking about sex,” Arthur whispered in your ear before gently biting the lobe, “not the kind you're talking about anyway.” You moaned, and you new at this point you’d let Arthur do anything he wanted to you.   
  
Arthur brought his hands to your face, bringing your face down to look him in the eye, “I want to make you cum because I love you and not as a way to keep you.” The truth rang so genuinely in his eyes, you couldn’t stop the overflow of tears that fell down your face. “I would never use sex against you,” Arthur said, thumb wiping away the tears, “ever.” You nodded in his hands, and he kissed you delicately.   
  
“I love you,” you whispered across his lips, “I love you so much.” Arthur moaned and deepened the kiss. You were putty in this man's hands, and you would do anything to keep it that way.   
  
In a surprising feat of strength, Arthur lifted you off the couch and carried you into the bedroom. From the quick glance around, you could tell Arthur had done little more than lay on top of your neatly made bed. You had limited time to look around because Arthur began to take his shirt off. Button by button, your eyes followed each inch of skin slowly be exposed. It made your mouth water and your finger itch, but Arthur gave you a look to remind you that this was about you. Once his shirt was off, you admired his skin, even the puckered pink scars that marred his smooth skin. Arthur winked at you with a smile as he pulled your shoes and socks off. You couldn’t help but giggle as your left sock gave him some trouble, nearly causing him to step backward with the effort.   
  
“let’s get you out of these pants,” Arthur’s newfound confidence both aroused you and worried you. Each time Arthur let himself slip into his Joker persona, the less he acted like the man you met that fateful night. “Sweetheart,” Arthur’s face came into view as he leaned over you, “get out of your head for a minute, okay? Trust me. I know it’s hard with how badly I fucked up, but please trust me.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” you said, realizing you had hurt his ego a bit, “please, get these pants off of me.” Arthur leaned down to kiss you hard on the lips before retreating back to your pants. With quick work, Arthur had your pants unzipped and was pulling them off in one swoop. You couldn’t help but laugh as he bowed deeply once the pants were discarded on the floor. This, right here, was why you loved Arthur. Even in these situations, he could still manage to make you laugh. Arthur ran his hands up your thighs and teased the hem of your panties with one finger. Shivers wracked your body, and your anticipation hit its peak.  
  
“Arthur, please,” you gasped, and Arthur eased your panties down your legs. You felt your face and chest heat as you let your legs fall open. Arthur had seen you naked before, had even felt your most intimate areas, but this was the first time he has been up close and personal. You heard the air rush out of Arthur’s nose as he took in the sight of you. You needed something to ease your embarrassment, so you rushed to pull off your shirt and bra. Now you laid naked in front of Arthur. You searched his face and only saw adoration there. With a deep breath, you opened your legs again and watched his hungry eyes fall on your pussy.   
  
“I’ve been dreaming about this for days now,” Arthur said as he started to kiss down your thigh. Each inch he got closer to your core, you felt your body tense. It has been years since someone ate you out, and the feeling of being so open to someone was foreign. Your nerves melted away with the first lick as Arthur gently tasted your folds. Pleasure took over, and it was so good you almost sobbed. The second pass of his tongue dipped further into your heat, and Arthur groaned, clearly enjoying himself.   
  
Arthur was inexperienced, and you could tell, but he made up for it with sheer enthusiasm. Arthur licked and sucked at your clit with fervor, and it had you whining and panting underneath him. Arthur pulled away to soak his finger with your wetness before easing it inside of you. His mouth was back on you, and Arthur pushed in a second finger.   
  
“Oh fuck,” you moaned deeply. The additional stimulation inside of you really ramped the sensation up a level. Arthur knew what do to with his fingers, curling them to rub against your most sensitive spot. His tongue lapped at your clip in long slow strokes. “don’t stop, oh, please don’t stop,” you begged as each lick pushed you higher, pleasure coiling in your belly. Most men would get overexcited and increase the pace, but Arthur held steady, and your pleasure reached an all-new height. Never in your life and getting eaten out felt so good. You were lost in the desire, not caring to hide your moans and pleas.   
  
You didn’t have time to warn Arthur, your orgasm rolling over and over you. You felt your pussy clench around Arthur’s fingers over and over, and each spasm of ecstasy rushed over you. Arthur was moaning against your sensitive flesh, making more ripples of overstimulation run through you. You squeezed your thighs together, trapping Arthur’s head and stopping him from torturing you more.   
  
With gentle hands, Arthur loosened your grip on his head and planted a sweet kiss right on your folds, and your stomach fluttered. Something about that gesture was so loving, so intimate it brought your sensitive emotions forward. You laid there completely spent, and Arthur came up to lay next to you. You turned your head to look at him, studying his profile. How could someone so kind and caring be a brutal killer?   
  
You reached out with your index finger and traced the line of Arthur’s nose, “you are very handsome.” Arthur’s head fell to the side, and he smiled at you, little lines creasing around his eyes. “we need to talk,” you said with a sigh. You wanted to bask in the afterglow forever, but you couldn’t avoid this any longer.  
  
Arthur nodded solemnly, “I’ll grab your clothes so you can get dressed.” He watched as you put clean clothes on, knees shaking with nerves. “where do we start?”   
  
“Well, I guess we need to promise to honest with each other,” you said as you sat on the bed next to him, “if we can’t be honest now, this won’t end up working.” Arthur’s eyes squeezed shut at the thought of this relationship ending. His knees didn’t stop shaking, and you could see Arthur doing the breathing exercises to stop his panicked laughter.  
  
“I Promise to tell you the truth,” Arthur said, voice strained with the effort to hold back his laughter. You reached out to hold his hand, thumb gently stroking the soft skin. You knew Arthur often needed reassurance that you were real, that you were right in front of him, and not a delusion.   
  
“Why did you leave without saying anything,” You asked, voice just above a whisper. You were taking slow even breaths like Arthur, trying to keep your own anxieties at bay.  
  
“I like following you to work,” Arthur admitted, “I like watching you and how you react to others. Even if I get jealous sometimes.” That was something Arthur had never revealed to you before, and that small glimpse of truth eased a part of you. “Some days I would follow that man who flirted with you,” Arthur sighed and looked you in the eye, “He was planning to force himself on you. He said you were playing hard to get, but once you know how good he could make you feel, then you would fall all over him.” Your stomach dropped. Arthur had been telling the truth this whole time. “Even his friend wanted to join in. Said it would be fun to show you just what two men could do for you,” Arthur’s face turned hard, and he looked away, “There was no way I was going to let that happen.”   
  
“Where did you get the gun,” You asked, and Arthur’s shoulders sank. You couldn’t tell if it was with relief or with shame. Either way, you were making progress.   
  
“I hid the gun I used to shoot Murray before I found you,” Arthur said, taking a deep breath, “I went back to get it. Since the Garbage strike is still going on, it hadn’t been touched.” You chucked a bit, and Arthur’s head snapped up to look at you. “what’s so funny,” He asked, a small grin on his face.  
  
“That’s smart,” you admitted, “I wouldn’t have been that smart.” You smiled apologetically at Arthur, you hadn’t meant to interrupt. “What happened with Sophie’s boyfriend,” You asked, Sophie’s name left a sour taste in your mouth.  
  
“I wasn’t lying when I said I saw him slap Gigi,” Arthur’s anger had flared again. Not at you, it was directed toward the memory. “I was going back to pick up a few things from Penny’s apartment, and when I rounded the corner, there he was gripping that little girl's arm and scolding her.” Arthur had to pause to calm himself again. Your heart ached. No child deserves that kind of abuse. “Then, he slapped her right across the face,” Arthur’s voice was thick with sadness, “I’d never heard her cry so hard.”   
  
Your heart still ached for the little girl, but your jealousy yet wasn’t sated, “Arthur, do you still have feelings for Sophie?” You held your breath and waited for Arthur’s answer. He chucked and looked at you, eyebrows raised.  
  
“No, I don’t,” Arthur took your hand and brought it to his mouth, “She was never real, but you are. YOU are real, and I love you.” With each word, your heart released its jealousy, and you let out your breath. “So, what did you think about while you were at your sister's,” Arthur asked, and it was your turn, to be honest.  
  
“A lot of things,” you said, causing Arthur to roll his eyes, “Mostly you. Us, really.” Your words felt heavy in your throat, and you struggled to voice them. Arthur was incredibly patient, watching your intently. “I thought about how I felt for you, and if those feelings were worth the consequences,” you rushed through the words and saw Arthur flinch slightly.   
  
“And,” Arthur asked, voice quiet, “am I worth the consequences?” Every argument against loving Arthur had always fallen short. Each scary scenario had always been worth it in your mind. What you felt for Arthur was a once in a lifetime kind of love, and you would fight tooth and nail to keep it.  
  
“Yes,” you said honestly, smiling at Arthur, “Even if that meant me leaving everything behind to terrorize Gotham with you.” The smile that grew on Arthur’s face was wicked and enticing.   
  
“Joker and his queen,” Arthur said, with a boisterous laugh, “I like the sound of that.” You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. You had meant those words. You would leave behind the goody-two-shoes girl you used to be, just to be Arthur’s woman. To be Jokers woman.   
  
“you know, I've been thinking,” You said, a smirk on your lips, “With your influence and my medical skill, I bet we could use Gotham’s underground for our advantage. Vigilantes instead of Villains.” Arthur looked at you like you had just proposed to him. His face was filled with awe and loyalty.   
  
“We could be the Robinhood’s of Gotham,” Arthur said, Joker’s confidence slipping forward, “We can kill the rich and finally give back to the poor.” Arthur’s eyes danced with the prospect, and you felt the blood rush through you. Adrenalin coursing through you.  
  
“We can't get carried away,” you warned, “We have to start small. See who is on our side and who isn’t.” There was no way you were going to jump headfirst into this. It was going to take careful planning, but maybe one day, you and Arthur could run the city. Together, the Kind and Queen of Gotham. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? :)
> 
> Check out my Tumblr @joker-flecked-me


	14. Bonus Chapter:1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to end the storyline with the last chapter :) I didn't want to add too much more to the story, but I owe you guys some sweet, sweet smut lol So, Here is the first of two bonus chapters! I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story has come to a close! It's bittersweet, but here is some smut to make up for it lol
> 
> For more Content, please follow my Tumblr @joker-flecked-me

You had been home for a week now, and things were almost back to normal. You had gone back to work, and Arthur had kept his promise and stayed home. The only difference was night terrors. Horrible nightmares had tormented Arthur since you left, and despite your return, they continued. The images that plagued Arthur wasn’t the killings, it was the look on your face when you left him. The fear and pain. The isolation and the way his delusions flared in your absence. It broke your heart. 

That night you had tried everything to prevent Arthur’s night terrors, from honey tea to meditation. You went to bed apprehensive, but Arthur was always hopeful that it'll work. You only fell asleep after Arthur, paying close attention to the slow even breaths. Once Arthur was deeply asleep, you finally allowed yourself to succumb. 

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep when the thrashing began. You were wide awake when you heard Arthur’s sleeping pleas. Your heart broke once again at the pained look on his face. Tears sprung to your eyes, knowing you were the one who did this to him. 

“Arthur, please,” you took his shoulder, shaking it hard, “you’re safe, I’m here, please wake up.” You had tears streaming down your face when Arthur finally managed to open his eyes. He looked at you, unsure if you were real or his mind playing tricks on him once again. Arthur reached up to touch your face, eyes softening when his fingers made contact. 

“You’re real,” Arthur said, body relaxing. You nodded and fell into his arms. You couldn’t help but kiss every inch of skin you could reach. You lavished Arthur’s neck and chest with kisses, whispering how sorry you were in between. Arthur’s hands roamed your body, seeking skin to skin contact. When your lips finally met, Arthur moaned, and you felt a rush of arousal straight to your core. 

The kiss deepened, and Arthur rolled on top of you. Your legs parted, allowing your bodies to come together. Two thin pieces of fabric were the only thing separating you. You clutched at Arthur’s shoulders, hands running down his back as Arthur sought comfort in your kiss. The two of you were still working on building trust, but you were intoxicated by his passion. Arthur’s hand was resting gently on your jaw, and the other was supporting his weight next to your head. 

You couldn’t help but use your leg to pull Arthur closer to you, feeling his hot length so close to your heat. Arthur thrust against you, desperate moan feeding into the kiss. You were burning up with desire, and you knew you’d let Arthur go as far as he wanted tonight. The two of you had talked about making love, how nervous Arthur had been before meeting you. Arthur confessed to finding his confidence in your love, knowing you wouldn’t ridicule or be unsatisfied with him. 

“I want you,” Arthur whispered against your lips, “if you let me, I want to make love to you.” His words brought tears to your eyes. The intimacy, the vulnerability in his voice made all of your walls crumble.

“Please,” you whispered, voice thick with emotion, “please make love to me.” Arthur began to kiss your jaw and neck, hand reaching beneath the thin material of your tank top. Arthur’s fingers caressed your breasts, and you moaned. Your body was so sensitive tonight. Maybe it was the late hour, or perhaps it was the anticipation of finally taking that final step with Arthur. Either way, your skin felt like electricity, and Arthur was a conductor. 

Arthur pulled your top off, and the moment his skin was flush to yours, you felt your heart ache. You had to fight the tears threatening to spill over. You weren’t sad, but you felt so connected to Arthur at that moment, it was overwhelming. Arthur was leaving searing kisses on your neck, each movement of his lips on your skin sent shivers through you. Your eyes opened as you felt Arthur’s body move lower on yours. He took your sensitive nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. Your whole body arched into Arthur, unable to stop the rippling pleasure coursing through you. His hand slid down your body and right into your panties, pushing them down to your thighs. You kicked them off with little effort, opening your legs to allow him more access. 

This wasn’t a first for either of you. There had been a few nights where you nakedly brought each other to orgasm with your mouths and tongues. But this was the first time you would really be joined to Arthur. As he continued to pleasure you, your hand reached out to fumble with the bedside table. When your hand met the foil packet, you hastily placed it in Arthur’s hand. He stood up and removed his underwear, gazing lovingly over your naked body. You didn’t often feel sexy, but something about the way Arthur looked at you made you feel like Aphrodite herself. You bit your lip as you watched Arthur cover his length with the condom before crawling back up and in between your legs. You felt out of breath already, anticipation, need and love-filled your body. 

“Please,” You whispered, eyes squeezed shut, “Please make love to me, Arthur.” You heard Arthur take a deep breath before positioning himself at your entrance. Ever so slowly, he pushed into you. The moment Arthur entered you, it was like you had died and gone to heaven. The way he opened you up and filled you just right. No one had ever made you feel this good during sex, and you hadn’t even gotten started yet. When Arthur was fully seated inside of you, you opened your eyes. Arthur’s mouth was open, eyebrows turned up in pleasure, and his eyes were nearly overflowing with tears.

“I love you,” Arthur gasped as he began to move, “I love you so much.” With every push and pull of his body, you lost yourself into the pleasure. You gasped out your own “I love you” ‘s as your body met his thrust for thrust. It was a slow-rolling of hips, his body rubbing perfectly over your own. Your hands clutched at the skin of Arthur’s back, even running down to press his hips further into your own. Arthur ran his hands through your hair, mouth kissing sweetly on your face. The moments your lips would meet, tongues gliding together, only heightening the sensation. Arthur’s breath was yours, and your moans were his. With every second, the two of you were joined, the more you lost track of who was who. You were one being, loving and feeling, and building pleasure together. The urge to go faster and harder overtook the both of you as Arthur sat up and brought your leg over his shoulder. This change in position allowed Arthur to hit the spot deep inside of you, and your moans began to come out more desperately. 

“Fuck yes,” Arthur moaned, seeing your pleasure spike. He brought his now free hand to your pussy, thumb rubbing circles into your sensitive clit. Just that added stimulation had your orgasm building rapidly. Every thrust and swipe of his thumb felt like you were riding a rollercoaster of pleasure. The slow incline seemed achingly brutal, but you knew the fall would be worth it. 

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” You begged Arthur. You were breathing hard, nearly moaning with every breath. You could feel the peak of your pleasure getting closer and closer until that pivotal moment. Arthur’s free hand came up to pinch your nipple, and you were sent toppling over the edge of bliss. “Arthur, yes,” you called out as your body spasmed with pleasure. Arthur’s thrusts were getting sporadic as his own pleasure took over. You watched with awe as Arthur moaned and gasped as he spilled into you. He had called out your name before bringing his body down to rest on top of yours. 

The weight of Arthur’s body mixed with the intimacy of having him still inside you made years fall from your eyes. You felt raw but in the best way possible. You had opened yourself up to Arthur, heart, soul, and body. Arthur was kissing your shoulder, allowing his breathing to return to normal. When he finally pulled out of you, you were shocked by the feeling of loss. You watched as Arthur tossed the condom in the trash and walked back to you. He had a huge grin of his face and was the most relax you had ever seen him.

“Thank you,” Arthur said, pulling you into his arms, “that was… amazing.” He chuckled at his use of words. You could tell he had been trying to find a better descriptor, but amazing was the best fit. You couldn’t agree more. 

“I should be thanking you,” you said, smiling at him, “That was the best sex I've ever had. Not bad for a first-timer.” You teased with a wink, and Arthur laughed. You could tell he was proud to have made you feel so good, and you weren’t lying when you said it was the best. It was raw and real, and the first time you had made love to someone you truly loved. It was everything you had ever wanted and more. “Let's get some sleep,” you whispered, eyes feeling heavy as relaxation and comfort consumed you. You heard Arthur hum in agreement, and soon, the two of you had drifted off into a deep sleep. 

You woke up to the late morning sun shining through the window. Neither of you had moved, and Arthur was still wrapped in your arms. You couldn’t help the content smile that grew on your face. Last night had seemed to heal the break that was between the two of you. The trust and love were now so evident there was no denying it. You could face the world today, just like you had planned. Together. 

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear what you think! :) Kudos and comments mean everything!
> 
> Tumblr: kat-o-combs (Come say hi!)


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